Saturday, April 25, 2009
So Grandma Mary is dead
It happened just a few days ago. I've been reading Plato's Phaedo about how death isn't to be feared and we should look forwards to directly comprehending absolute truth and then an email comes in saying death is real to me right now because Grandma Mary died. I've felt emotionally kind of dazed, sort of unable to sort it all out. I think the worst thing about it is feeling like I never really had a chance to know her. Chalk it up to my just not being socially aware, or maybe it was so taboo to speak of I don't know, but I hadn't even realized who Grandma Mary was or how she fit into the family story (she was a step grandmother actually... way more story to it than would be appropriate to blog), and then not so long after she's dead. Feel like I only really met her once, though part of that is because at the one family reunion I might have spent some time there was no one my age and the adults were boring me so I spent the entire event secluded reading a book. I knew her death was going to be soon, but I thought she had a couple of months left to her. In any case, I've emotionally stabilized for now in my own confused un-self-aware way. I just arrived in town for the memorial service today, so we'll see how long that lasts. In the meantime I'm enjoying seeing family members that I haven't seen for a while.
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3 comments:
You're lucky you could go down for it. I hate not being there so much... I'm having a hard time focusing on my school because I just tend to daze away...
I didn't know you didn't know how she fit into the family tree. I can't remember not knowing. I was older when Grandma Lois died, perhaps that helped me keep everything straight.
I don't remember Grandma Lois at all. I knew I had to say Grandma Lois and Grandma Mary separately because they were different people, but beyond that nothing had really clicked in my head until a few years ago when mom sat down and talked about it with us. So I sort of knew, but not really at the same time.
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